1. Try
not to attract narcissists or users, spot them by their RED FLAGS and run the
other way.
2. Do
not pay for everything, if they are assuming you are paying definitely don’t. Ask
politely if they would mind splitting the cost (groceries, utilities)? Make sure
to ask upfront, don’t assume they can afford it, and if they can’t that is
their own problem not yours. If you kept paying into stocks that weren’t paying
out would you keep investing? Don’t continue to pay or you will only resent
them and feel used.
3. Intimate
relationships don’t define you or complete
you, you never needed anyone but yourself, look at where you got you. Feel good
about where you are in your career and life, you have worked hard to get where
you are.
4. Do
not have intimate relations with anyone until you know them, after at least a few
months, write down their pros and cons, focus on any RED FLAGS, and decide if
it is worth pursuing long term. Don’t settle.
5. Judge
a person by their actions not their words, especially men. If he is interested
he will pursue you and not just for sex and when it is convenient. Don’t be
anyone’s option, make yourself a priority instead.
6. Forget
bad people, don’t allow people who are not worth your time to take up space in
your brain.
7. Boundaries
and non-negotiables are held up with action
not passively overlooking things, fighting, or talking about it. Obviously they
are ok with said behavior otherwise they wouldn’t be doing it. If they fail to
take responsibility and own their behavior after you have expressed your concerns and
they do not see any reason to change or even acknowledge your feelings. Only
you can enable it and allow it to persist. It is not up to you to change them;
you cannot control anyone else’s behaviors only your own. Only you can allow
yourself to be subjected to their treatment or GTFO. Don’t enable disrespect or
deviations from your expectations and boundaries; you have a right to your
feelings do not deny them for others to perpetually damage yourself. Do onto
yourself as you would do onto others.
8. Do
not allow anyone to live with you until you are engaged and on the immediate road to marriage. If you do get engaged don't waste a bunch of money getting into debt over a wedding don't start your marriage out in debt.
9. Try
not to control situations or people, allow people to do things and figure it
out on their own. Offer polite assistance if they don’t want it let them screw
it up on their own.
10. Do
not assume a person wants to do what you do; explain you are going to do such
and such and they are welcome to join? (Use when cleaning or working on
projects; lead by example without controlling or pressuring)
11. Don’t
point out people’s negative traits instead learn creative ways to express your
needs and how they can better accommodate you when they are falling
short. (i.e. I really like it when you help me out it makes me feel like you
care and are invested, I like it when you help clean then we can both relax, I
like it when you are reciprocal it shows me you’re willing to work as a team
and not take advantage which makes me want to be reciprocal also)
12. Practice
daily self-love and affirmations. What I think of myself, and how I act, is
what other people will see. Be positive, think positive, do positive things to
enrich your life, do not put yourself in degrading situations or places.
13. Make
great first impressions by always looking your best, having confidence, and
build rapport treat them like your long lost best friend, get to know them
personally by listening and asking questions, be genuinely interested. Mirror
and repeat showing you are actually listening and understanding. Be the people
you like to meet and love, be happy, energetic, positive, genuine, fun, exciting,
and interesting.
14. Be
kind and empathetic, don’t swear, don’t bad mouth people, and never participate
in gossip or negative speaking. Have respect for people more when they are not
around. If someone talks of others like this they will turn around and do the
same to you.
15. Do
not brag or be boastful of self or material things.
16. Extend
yourself out to people, build genuine and strong relationships, be there to
listen and help.
17. Go
beyond your comfort zone to talk to and met new people.
18. Deal
with trust issues not everyone is the same, judge them for their actions not
words.
19. Have
confidence, do things to rid insecurities.
20. Be playful and humorous, enjoy life, and don’t be too serious.
21. Practice
daily affirmations, meditation, spirituality, practice positive thinking.
22. Get
up early do yoga, exercise, walk/run the dog.
23. Appreciate
nature, smell the flowers, kick the leaves, breathe the air, enjoy the simple
things of life.
24. Find
solitude in being alone do things for yourself to better yourself, read, groom,
nap, don’t feel lonely.
25. Find
new hobbies, art, sports, volunteer, go to church, go to the library, or coffee
shop.
26. Do
not go to bars, drink to excess or smoke, hung-over is not fun.
27. Write
in a journal, write poems, start a blog.
28. Cook,
bake, try new recipes, and share.
29. Quit
spending frivolously and start seriously saving.
30. Turn
the radio on instead of the TV.
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