Nov 4, 2013
I recently came across this article floating around the internet which was titled Marriage is not for you. It was about a young man who was contemplating becoming engaged and married to his long time sweetheart; he was unsure it was the right thing to do, if she was the right one for him. His father gave him some sage advice stating a marriage is not for you, It is for the kids you bring into the world, for the joining of two families. Who do you want to share that with? Who do you want to be there to care for your children and to share the responsibilities and struggles of life with? He realized then that he wanted it to be with her that he wanted to be a part of her family and that his family wanted her to be a part of theirs. In any relationship it is ok to think of our own needs but we have to remember it is more about wanting to make that other person happy and feel loved. The more you give the more you will ultimately receive, especially if you build your relationship on a foundation of love and trust fostering security for you both to feel safe in giving your love to each other completely without question. Remember to give the love that you want to get in return.
If you don't ask the answer will always be "No". It is ok to ask for what you want out of the people around you. People are not mind readers tell them what you need from them to be fulfilled. Denying yourself or harboring unrequited feelings will probably turn into resentments in the long run. Don't be afraid of rejection or how the other person might take it, if they cannot find a way of giving you what you want out of a relationship then it is probably not worth it. This goes both ways relationships are not supposed to be one-sided but mutual and reciprocal. To maintain a healthy balance you have to have those lines of communication or all you will be left with is disappointment. You can attract a lot more bees with honey so use positive reinforcement (i.e. I really like it when you show me affection and love in all those special little ways).
Men and women view sex in completely different ways. Men see it as a casual pastime experience where women see it as giving themselves physically to someone. Basically women cannot have casual sex unless they are completely not interested that way. Women operate on emotions and men on testosterone. All in all women should really just avoid casual sex; it is confusing and ultimately damaging. Men for the most part will take it any which way they can, some even prefer the no strings attached. Clarify your intentions prior to getting into a physical relationship with anyone. This day and age with STDs and who knows what else why jeopardize yourself for a one night stand or a FWB. Really in the end is the sex even worth it when you look back, not really. You have to know you deserve better and are worth better than that. Keep it in your pants.