Apr 15, 2014


The easiest way to win an argument is to simply refuse to participate. This forces the other person to actually think about why they are upset. Instead of adding fuel to their fire you might try saying “I refuse to argue with you but I will definitely work to make things better, if you are willing to communicate with me. Maybe you need 10 minutes to gather your thoughts…” backing off is like putting a mirror or spotlight on the negative behavior without encouraging it. When people get angry they often react irrationally without thinking of the long-term ramifications because they are in the heat of the moment and aggravated. Allowing someone to cool down often defuses the situation and/or allows you to approach the actual issues in a sensible calmer mature way. Anger is always a by-product of other underlying emotions figuring out what the actual triggers are underneath the anger allows you to address the actual issues, not the reaction itself. Otherwise arguing is simply pointless and a waste of your breathe and time. There are always two sides to any story and we all know what assuming makes us, not everyone thinks exactly the same. In any relationship there is bound to be disagreements and misunderstandings, allowing yourself to sensibly rationalize the truth and reality of the situation is integral to cultivate growth, compromise, and understanding.